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WHEN KIDS GO OVER THE CLIFF ... NEARLY
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ho kong loon
I TAUGHT Linda in 1983, 24 years ago. She was 12. It was a Primary 5
extended class, the equivalent of a present tail-end EM2 class.
At the beginning of the year, I was unduly harsh with her. She was
quarrelsome, untidy, aggressive. I punished her for even the most trivial
misconduct, and made her re-do every piece of written work which was badly
done. She fared poorly in all the first-term tests, and her conduct did
not improve.
I decided to change strategy. I began writing positive remarks whenever
she did her work well. In fact, I penned encouraging comments even when
her efforts were less than satisfactory.
I praised her publicly when she did something positive, or held her tongue
during a potential argument. I even appointed her the class monitor.
The transformation was startling. Linda almost topped the class in the
mid-year examinations. She became the darling of the other teachers, and
won the admiration of her peers. When I had to leave the classroom to
attend to official matters, it was Linda who took charge.
It was a solid testimony to her leadership qualities and charisma.
I got to know Linda much better over conversations, during recess and
after school. It made me determined to shield and counsel her. Her parents
were separated. Her father was a manager. Linda stayed with him most of
the time.
He loved to drink and was inebriated often. He trusted the daily care of
his daughter to one of his staff, a young man barely aged 20. This young
chap took Linda to and from school on his motorcycle.
I advised Linda to lock her bedroom door every night, as this assistant
stayed in the same house. Linda gave me a knowing smile and assured me she
knew how to take care of herself.
Linda's mother was a nightclub singer. She had a live-in lover. Linda
visited her mother occasionally.
It was Linda's after-school life which alarmed me. She wandered the
streets and took up smoking and other undesirable social habits. I
counselled her whenever I could. She would be on her best behaviour for a
few weeks. Then, the entire cycle would play out again.
I was not her class teacher the following year. I told Linda's teachers
about her, and they did their best to give their time and attention to
Linda. I intervened whenever called upon to help.
One afternoon, when I arrived at school, I was told that Linda had been
hospitalised. She had collapsed in the school several times that morning.
She had been sniffing glue. A contrite Linda was tearful when I admonished
her for the addiction. But the pendulum swings in her life continued
throughout that year.
During her Primary 6 year, Linda's conduct and schoolwork nose-dived.
She still listened to me and took my counsel in good spirit, but I felt
she was slipping out of my reach. One day, she just left school without
notice. All my attempts to contact her were fruitless.
It has been more than two decades. I wonder if Linda is still in
Singapore. I wonder where is she living and how is she now.
The Ministry of Education (MOE) is mindful of the issue of troubled
children. It has adopted a systematic approach to look after the interests
of these disadvantaged youngsters. Professional counselling and guidance
is provided by a well-trained team. This is an important step.
Each school should have at least two to three experienced teachers
specially trained in child counselling and guidance. Freed from the heavy
administrative and other responsibilities, they can play a useful
supporting role to the MOE counsellers.
Above all, it is incumbent upon parents to be alive to their children's
growing up difficulties and adjustments. It entails carrying out their
parenting responsibilities firmly. It is poor excuse to apportion blame on
the schools or even the authorities if their children are maladjusted and
defiant.
The writer is a retired teacher.
hmmmm..it kind of weird..but this happen in the world.
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