a lesson or enlightenment

today..i learn a lesson..i reallycan't do thing without Him..if i panick n do the thing by my way..it actually cause many pplsad,angry..and tt is nt i want..i want ppl 2 b happy n see wat in me is He..so i really rash n i regret..but tt can be a lesson..i really need 2 learn if nt i can't grow..today i sae i entrust my life 2 him but i still worry and using all my mean but really didn't remember he got a plan 4 mi..even though i remember the verse..but tt didn't cross my mind..so i want 2 sae sorry 2 Him, my mum, didi, xiaohui..a lot thing happen but when did i learn..so i really have 2 change if nt..His love and my life will nt be worth..nt mi useless but is when will i learn..ppl tell mi and i have 2 listen n tt call teachable..if i continue like this i will wish He will bring me 2 sense but no me juz talk nt action..i want 2 change..is nt the first time liao..so i really need 2 repent if nt, pls God deliever my life 2 a end..i want 2 be wat u want mi 2 be but no the old of mi..and when i sing "wonder how my life have change" i really hope i have change..and i hope when i change..ppl will told mi u have change 2 really extraordinary..and he or she will sae i can see u have a wonderful thing in u..then i noe tt is really His work..is He who mould mi 2 be..is His love, Grace, mercy tt cause mi 2 be like this...and He have sent Serene 2 tell mi a sentence.. wat i experience will change mi, mould mi 2 become a greater person when i overcome it..
Also i find something amazing..i think i am tt kind of flirt mind so i can't love a person so long but i am wrong..because is He have let mi realise He is wat i need n without His presence and His appear in my life..i juz a nothing..not one is accidential, no one is stupid or useless but everyone have a purpose..every one of us all have three story or maybe one..three is ur past before noe He, then now is noe He, and His plan 4 u in the future..then if u onli have one..tt mean u didn't noe He and u juz like this live ur life..sometime a bit lost..strange..want ppl attention.
i also noe last time of mi have cause the family 2 become a state tt is in critical..but i really want 2 hlp..but i juz dun act wat His plan..and i no veri noe..tt y i have 2 "talk" 2 Him more..