sigh..

veri funny..when ppl get salary..they'll be happy..but i opposite..as i noe my salary have shortpaid due 2 me n supervisor be neglient..n so i gt abt 4 day salary didn't get n is abt $200..which is a lot as i can use this 2 treat xh, km, ou, pp, pl, elaine, pl frienz, yiwen n hq..but now all gone n also i still own frienz $ n i also can't return them n also i wan buy wat i desire also can't..sad..depress..n this problem is before a problem tt is i work veri slow..n i onli a trouble 2 my partners..n this is nt wat i wan..wat i wan is 2 bring Glory 2 God n also wan e favor of men..but now i think i didn't done any n i also think it cause me 2 think even negative n even let me think i very lousy..n now my feeling is mix with hatred, guilty, sad, remorse...n this feeling is different from the first time work day...the passion, the love, the fire, joy..all seem like gone due 2 a male partner who sae me..n i can sae is sorry..sorry that u noe..sorry that i am being employed..sorry that i n so irresponsible..sorry that i so imcompetent..sorry that i done my best n still can't be satisfate by u all..sorry that i onli a trouble but nt a helper..sorry that i useless..sorry that i so weak tt i keep on drop food on the floor..sorry that i scared hot object n so slow down my speed..sorry tt i make n baked e worst bread of all..sorry that i din't bring joy 2 u all guy..sorry that i onli bring frustrated n angry 2 u all guy..
n i noe this post will nt be seen by my partners n supervisor..but becoz of this..i truth tt i really feel sorrow...guilty..sad..wan 2 cry..i wan 2 hlp..but..
now i rethink of myself...actually i really a trouble..a hindrance...hlp ppl but turn out 2 harm ppl..example is xh n km...n also hq...n also yiwen...n many ppl...y i wan 2 hlp but i can't do nth...sad..