Today

EMOTIONALSTUPIDITY BEGONE!
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Stop barking: Keep your cool and assess the situation before acting

We hear a lot about people having emotional intelligence (EQ), but seldom
consider the consequences of emotional stupidity.

A family I knew with a reasonable, but not vast, fortune lost all their
money through emotional stupidity.

Now, they live on the low end of life, licking their wounds, divided, hurt
and irreconcilable.

Why?

The most senior and responsible member of the family, who was already
heading the business, tried to micro-manage his siblings and parents, and
run every detail of the company.

He trusted nobody, which meant nobody trusted him - resulting in one of
the most expensive lawsuits ever seen. The small fortune went to the
lawyers, while the family was left with nothing.

As an example of emotional stupidity, it doesn't get much worse than this.
Sadly, it happens all too often.

There are four main causes of emotional stupidity: Pride (sometimes
expressed as "bloody-mindedness"), greed, self-destructiveness and
"short-termism".

People in charge have to be confident. You cannot lead a business if you
are indecisive, uncertain and lacking in conviction. You must be strong to
be a good leader.

Unfortunately, many of those in positions of responsibility are not
strong, so they use what they think are authority-asserting tactics such
as harsh treatment, bullying and being rude.

If only they knew!

Such behaviour merely tells their subordinates that they are weak but
trying to look strong.

It produces all the wrong responses - low morale, sullenness,
unwillingness to go the extra mile, a desire for revenge, sometimes theft,
and occasionally, physical attack.

Success becomes greed when it turns into excess. And excess is
disproportion, getting things out of reasonable relationship to each
other.

It is essential to be ambitious, to fight the commercial battle with
vigour and thrust. We live in a capitalist world and it has done many
people good, increasing their choices, health and comfort and lengthening
their lives.

But we have to temper the corporate battle with common sense about rewards
or we get super-rich and super-poor, even within a single business.

Nobody has yet defined an acceptable gap between the economic top and
bottom of our society. We are all very conscious that it is a great deal
smaller than exists in the world today.

What of self-destructiveness?

Surely we are not out to destroy ourselves? You would be surprised at how
many people are inherently self-destructive, sometimes even self-harming.

It is nearly always an attention-grabbing tactic by those who feel
neglected or ignored. It is emotionally stupid but its causes have to be
discovered and dealt with. Merely criticising it won't solve the problem.

"Short-termism" is the seeking of instant gratification irrespective of
longer-term damage. We are currently watching the consequences of this
form of emotional stupidity in international banking and climate change.

So, how do we root out emotional stupidity and empower ourselves to be
rational and intelligent? The answer is "we do it ourselves".

Others may help, guide, encourage but the will and effort is always ours.
Neil Armstrong once said that the hardest part of his journey to the moon
and back was getting out of bed on the day of the flight.

I believe him. That first step is really the hardest one. The others
follow more easily.

How is the first step determined?

By asking and answering a simple question: What do I want out of the
current situation?

A calm appraisal of the facts, a rational assessment of the desired
outcome, a cool approach to the best way to achieve it - all this with
politeness and good humour will yield great results.

And don't forget lower blood pressure too. That's truly a bonus for
everyone.



Today jus hear more of the tragic tt happen to the 5 Singaporean athlete, this is a bit shocking to me. As no one expected and bad thing do happen to bad people. But i can sae tt one of them had really live his life to the fullest? From what i saw in his memorial blog, someone who had touched deeply of different ppl life. So no matter what thing you facing now, can you pick yourself up n continue? Time is jus passing sec by sec, u can't take it back, so dun live with regret. At least now u're alive, so wat happen had already happen, u jus settle n continue will do. Dun be stubborn! See there is a beautiful purpose or path infront of you! :)

Recently a lot of thing happen, i a bit moody. dunno y so many quarrel n bad thing happen..y is it so inevitable? Strength, peace, wisdom!